My original blog was Hoses of the Holy (ca. 2003), which ended up being abandoned in the dark days of 2007. I started this one in 2011. Scroll down for the archives!

Privatise this blog, see if I care

Written in


Thatch went after the low hanging fruit when she started the government on a privatisation jag in the 80s. Once you get to actual water, the stuff of life, once you get to that, you’re scraping the bottom. Now they’re coming for the schools, and no matter how mad it seems, they think that every school should be a private school.

What I want to know is, if you’re a liberal democrat and you’re helping these bastards cling to power, what are you hoping will happen? Because you’ve already wiped yourselves out. You’ve basically destroyed your party, set them back to, ooh, 1974, when it was just Jeremy Thorpe and his dog. And by aiding the wanton destruction of all our public services, you’re only making things worse for yourselves. And the rest of us. You must understand that if people voted for you, it wasn’t because they wanted a Tory government?

This blind ideology requires a wilful and belligerent ignorance. We already know that the stupid Tory bastards hate the BBC, because they’re too stupid to understand the value it gives the country. There is literally no other reason to want to live here. They’re also too stupid, for the most part, to detect how illiberal the BBC is. The fawning, vomit-inducing coverage of the fucking jubilee is evidence enough for anyone with half a brain.

Tories rely on getting votes from people who are too stupid to understand that they’re Turkeys voting for Christmas. And they’re very confident that the electorate are too stupid to notice the stealthy privatisation of the health service, the education service, the police, and anything else that’s not nailed down.

The Tories have noticed that public sector = a certain amount of predictable security when it comes to income streams, so they want to parcel it out to their friends, so their friends can ride out the vicissitudes of the economy-that-they-don’t-understand. And, hey, if they can take some of the education budget and turn a profit for shareholders, so much the better. If not, they can just appoint an enormous number of managers and pay them whopping huge salaries for making speeches and doing fuck-all other than cutting budgets and making things more shit.

Because they have shit-for-brains, everything else has to be made shit, so it all matches up in their hive mind.

Gordon Brown had stealth taxes. The Tories have stealth privatisation. They call them “free schools”, they call them “academies”, but they’re all just ways of importing layers of managers from the private sector and skimming money to line their pockets. They don’t care about education; what they want to provide is a free babysitting service, so they can make everyone else work longer hours. By secretly privatising schools, they can do away with pesky unions and their pay and conditions agreement. Let’s get some non-qualified “teachers” in to babysit the kids, give them some learning software or something, extend the school day, shorten the holidays, so that these breeders in the private sector who insist on taking holidays to “look after their kids” can be encouraged to chain themselves to their desks.

Meanwhile, we’ll get the old Dyson out and start sucking £10 notes out of school budgets. Meanwhile our own kids will be very nicely off in fee-paying schools with small classes and plenty of buggery to keep them in line.

Gove made a speech last week in which he admitted that private schools have a stranglehold on the cultural and political life of the country. The natural conclusion many of us would draw from this would be that this is a bad thing, that the chinless parasites who’ve been running the country for a thousand years are clueless hoorays who depend for their existence on levels of inequality that would embarrass anybody with a smidgen of empathy.

But the obvious conclusion for Gove will be that what the state school system needs is more of that privatisation stuff. What he’s saying is not that private schools are a bad thing. He’s pointing out that people from private schools dominate politics and the media because their elite education qualifies them to do that. And he’ll try to convince the morons who vote Tory that the solution to the non-problem of state education is to do away with state education and make it all run with the “efficiency” of private enterprise.

Never mind that the rest of us have been propping up the rich parasites by subsidising their tax rate and allowing them to freeload their way through life and waft their kids off to private school in the family Merc. Never mind that it’s a stupid, unworkable idea. The main point, as it always is, is to do as much damage as possible before the people wake up and come to take their toys away.

(Except we might never get to do this with only 600 MPs, or with Scottish independence, because if that happens, the Tories will be with us forever. We’ll basically become a single party state, like Mugabe’s Zimbabwe.)

%d bloggers like this: