It’s been a rough week down at the old Pizza Home. On Saturday, I forgot to put yeast in my dough, and then blamed the lack of a rise on the temperature in the house until it was too late. It was only when I pulled the first pizza from the oven and bit into the comatose crust that I realised what I’d done.

Fortunately, I’d been curious enough about the Northern Dough Company’s frozen offering that I’d bought a pack. So, come whiskey wednesday, I gave it a try. I’d left it in the fridge to defrost overnight, and then I left it at room temperature, or at least near the woodburner, for a couple of hours.

The appearance of the dough balls was uninspiring. Inert lumps the colour of plasticine when you’ve blended all the colours together. They’d not appreciably changed shape or size since coming out of the fridge. It was déja vu all over again.

Hand stretching was a non-starter. The texture was also more like plasticine than not. So I used a rolling pin and made a 30cm round. It didn’t even liven up in the hot oven, instead catching on the edges, and emerging from the oven with a texture not unlike the dough I’d forgotten to put yeast into. It reminded me a bit of those pancake-like tarte flambée crusts you can buy in French supermarkets.

All in all, the worst week for pizza since the local Domino’s opened.