Watching the Defectives

Apple just raised their prices for their various services. I’m on a Family Apple One plan, paying for Music, TV+, and Arcade. On top of this, I’m paying for Fitness+, but something’s gotta give. Apple One has just gone up to £23 per month, which I wouldn’t mind, but I’m barely using any of the services. If it was just me, I might cancel — especially in response to the just-released Spirited, a Christmas movie that looks so offensive that even the tile in the app smarts my eyeballs. Apple deserve to lose money for commissioning shit like this.

My biggest issue with Apple, Netflix, and Amazon is that there are too many movies. Just cannot be arsed with them.

This is one of the things regarding subscription services that gall you. The sheer quantity of dross. It’s like when Amazon buys in loads of sport you’ll never watch; you realise you’re subsidising bids for content like today’s rugby extravaganza. Mind you, that’s not quite as offensive to the soul as the knowledge that you’re helping to pay for Clarkson’s lifestyle.

I actually wish Amazon hadn’t wasted all that money on the Lord of the Rings thing. When you think of the alternative intellectual property they could have acquired with that money (even within the same genre), your heart sinks. I guess we’re living through an era when a very small number of people with terrible taste and terrible personalities have too much power.

It has always been the case, of course, when it comes to the BBC licence fee, that most of what you pay for is rubbish. But it’s shocking when you add up all your various subscriptions and look at the bottom line and then look at the absolute gubbins it’s all paying for. Netflix is full of algorithmically commissioned mediocrity. I don’t know what my kids are watching, but I’m (re)watching 50 year old Star Trek, 30 year old Seinfeld, and six year old Travelers. I mean, I have seen some other stuff, but it was immediately forgotten.

I’m holding on to Apple One for the forthcoming second run of Slow Horses, and after that I might cancel at least the TV and the Arcade. To be honest, I’m not using the Music service either, but I’m sure my kids are. Unlimited streaming music doesn’t suit my temperament. It’s all just one big wash. I can listen to anything, so I listen to nothing. Turns out, I prefer scarcity. The end of scarcity is scary. I’m not mad (or rich) enough to turn to vinyl, of course, but I understand why some people do.

There’s likely to be a dearth of things to watch during the forthcoming unpleasantness in Qatar, so I’m girding my loins. Audiobooks?


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