Shout it from the rooftops, for it has come to pass.
In the latest update to the iPhone operating system, iOS 13.1, there’s a radio button control in the Settings>>Music section that allows you to Show (or, more importantly, not show) All Purchases.
I’ve been complaining since February 2016 about this most vexing “feature” of the Apple Music app, and I’ve been hoping ever since the introduction of iOS 10 that it would be fixed. (This is over and above my intense dislike of Apple Music as a streaming service. All I want is an app to play back the music on my phone that I put there.) I’ve even spent time with Apple Support, but even explaining the problem seemed impossible: it was like talking to a Westworld robot about something it had been programmed not to see.
Tl;dr: even though I curate my own playlist for my phone, and tell Music not to ever use mobile data, it would still regularly start playing the first alphabetical song in my “purchased” items, even though it wasn’t downloaded onto my phone and even though I was miles from the nearest wifi (in my car, for example).
Honestly, the number of songs-that-begin-with-A which have been exiled to the Siberian salt mines of never-want-to-hear-again because of this bug. All victims of the cloth-eared marketing monkeys who (almost certainly) wanted to socially engineer Apple Music streaming signups.
But here we are in the Autumn of 2019, and it really seems as if the problem might be fixed, with that simple fucking radio button.
Time will tell, of course, but the two screen shots above, one from 2016, and the other from today, tell the tale. The greyed out tracks in 2016 are the ones that would play against my wishes, even though mobile data was off. And now: no greyed out tracks. That’s the list of “Songs” not just “Downloaded Music>>Songs”.
I wonder how long it will be before I can bear to hear “Above the Clouds” again?
So, as previously noted, I (re)signed up for a 3-month trial of Apple Music. I was thwarted in my reasons for doing this but kept the trial going because the kid is on a rockandroll roadtrip and probably making use of it. But!
It makes me sad.
I’ve also revisited Spotify, taking them up on a 30-day trial of the Pro level, mainly so I could spam a friend with playlists, but Spotify is even worse.
Let’s stipulate from the outset that I’m predisposed to hate all the algorithmic recommendations. Apple Music’s recs, far from being insanely great, are insanely insane. And Spotify’s are equally offensive. What really bugs me about Spotify though is how badly it works. If I’m building a playlist and want to (+) a song to it from, for example, an album listing, it keeps bouncing me away from the listing so that I have to tap the screen THREE FUCKING TIMES to get back to where I was.
…And other user-hostile behaviours, such as finishing a playlist and then immediately starting to play random shit without so much as a by-your-leave.
But that makes me angry rather than sad, and the source of the sadness is somewhere else.
Always sensitive to my own moods, I went through several stages of grief with this free trial. For the first week or so, I was adding stuff to sample, things I’d normally skank from YouTube or steer clear of. The new McCartney album, for example. I’d normally not muster much interest, but I gave it a listen. Quite good, I thought, for a Paul McCartney album. But as Greil Marcus (?) once said of Bob Dylan’s Empire Burlesque, it’s good in the way that, say, Elton John is good, and when you’re Paul McCartney/Bob Dylan, that’s simply not good enough. So you give it a listen, and you think, litotically, not bad. And then you think, but will I ever listen to any of it ever again? And you think, no. No I won’t.
So then I stopped adding things, because it made me sad and I was wasting my time, and I felt reluctant to play any of the stuff I had added, because it felt artificial somehow, like I’d been placed in a simulation of my life in which I had access to things I was only vaguely interested in but that all the things I really loved were behind some kind of glass wall, tantalisingly close but unavailable.
It was as if I was thinking, well I’ve got this trial, see, so I’m obligated to ignore you, all my hard-won musical friends, and hang around with these mere acquaintances, just because that’s what I’m supposed to be doing.
As if the music collection I’d painstakingly built up over 40+ years had less value than this free stuff that was streaming like diarrhoea from the arse of a corporation that presumed, using maths, to know better than me what I would like.
Because music should be famine, not feast. Having taste means filtering out all the mediocrity to find the good stuff, not sticking a hose in your mouth and turning on the tap.
So then I stopped playing most of what Apple Music was offering and went back to my own owned and downloaded music. Because the reality is that over the month or so I’ve been on the trial there have been precisely three songs that have appeared that I intend to download/buy when I cancel the trial.
This isn’t just my problem. This is everyone’s problem. I genuinely fear we’re doing something horrible to ourselves with this always-on, everything-available culture. We’re already closely resembling those infantilised fat people living on out in space in the Pixar movie Wall•E. The hosepipe is streaming into our gaping maw and we really should fumble for the tap and turn it off.
John Roderick, of severalpodcasts, has a term for subscriptions. These ongoing payments suck money out of your bank account on a regular basis in return for [services] and if you’re not careful, they’ll suck you dry. Roderick calls them eels. They’re attached to your major arteries and sucking blood. Picture yourself as an Ood from Doctor Who.
I currently subscribe to:
The BBC (£150 per year, £12.50 a month)
Amazon Prime (£7.99 a month)
Netflix* (£8.99 a month)
Apple Music† (£14.99 a month for a family plan)
NowTV‡ (£99 per year, £8.25 a month)
That’s a grand total of £52.72 a month, £633 a year, for entertainment and free one-day delivery. Which is before we get to the other eels: broadband, phone contract etc.
It’s a lot.
*I thought I’d be smart and do a 6-months-on, 6-months-off thing with Amazon and Netflix. The truth is, as I’ve said recently, that a lot of Netflix’s Original programming is utter shite (especially their films), and I don’t really want to be paying £8.99 a month all year round. So I recently cancelled the subscription and said to the family that we’d go back on when there was a list of 10 things worth watching.
Well, I lasted less than a month, because the Bob Dylan Rolling Thunder Revue documentary appeared, and there was no way I was going to wait 6 months to watch it. I considered it the equivalent of paying £8.99 for a one-off iTunes rental, or a cinema ticket, whatever. So I am currently back on Netflix, but not for long. I actually checked out the new Black Mirror and was confirmed in my view that most of what Netflix produces is mediocre at best, and, no, I don’t want to watch no Jennifer Aniston movies, thanks.
†Bob Dylan is also to blame for my temporary subscription to Apple Music. I have no intention of paying the £14.99, which is ridiculously steep for what is essentially an annoyance. I’ve written before about how I was immediately irritated and turned off by Apple Music. You spend ages telling it what you prefer, and then it does nothing but recommend shite. I mean, take a look at this screenshot:
It’s as if someone’s Uncle Jack died and you’re looking through all the CDs he bought from that advert at the back of his Saga magazine.
Now, I have a fair amount of modern country music in my Library, but Apple Music’s “For You” section is stuffed with this crap and I have no more interest in it than I have in, say, Cliff Richard, Max Bygraves, or Nana Miskouri. It’s all stuff you’d flick past while casually browsing at a car boot or a charity shop. Apart from it all being of no interest whatsoever, the list of recommendations is also overwhelmingly based around male vocalists, compounding the industry-wide marginalisation of women artists. Country radio already refuses to play contemporary country by women, but as far as Apple is concerned, it doesn’t even exist. The only thing that might tempt me to subscribe to Apple Music full time is if they had a recommendation engine that would throw up current artists, the likes of Amanda Shires, Brandi Carlile, Lori McKenna, talented women who are producing incredible songs. In the absence of a robust music press, the world is crying out for a good music recommendation engine. But no, Music scrapes the barrel of music that was already in the remainder bin 40 years ago.
So, in reality, no, I’m not paying £14.99. I’m on a free trial, and that only because I wanted to hear (just once) the Bob Dylan Rolling Thunder Revue boxed set. Except, thwarted: they only offer a 10-track sampler on the streaming side, so bollocks to that.
‡Compared to all the others, NowTV is the best value. Who’d have thought I’d say that? Better value than the BBC, for me, because I watch almost nothing on BBC TV, and listen solely to radio stuff on the iPlayer Radio (definitely not on Sounds). I get both Entertainment and Movies from NowTV for £99. I got it once, for a year. And then when I went to cancel, they offered it to me again. I’ve almost zero interest in watching any movies, but it’s part of the deal. The Entertainment pass gives me stuff like GoT (not full-time, but long enough to watch it) and Westworld, Bob’s Burgers, and various other Sky Atlantic stuff. But it’s touch and go. GoT is definitely worth the money, but Westworld’s second season was shonky, and while I enjoy The Rookie, it’s not worth £8.25 a month. So come renewal time, I’ll have to seriously consider whether this eel will stay attached to my neck.
Which leaves Amazon and the BBC. I can tell you that Amazon’s days are numbered. I spend too much when I’m on Prime. Also, Prime Video has very little stuff I want to watch. When it comes to it, I can’t even be arsed to look at Season 2 of American Gods. I watched Good Omens, but persevered only because it was just 6 episodes. I love Bosch, which is very underrated by critics. And Patriot is good. But once I’m done with those, I mainly use it to watch Seinfeld, which I’ve seen multiple times and even own on DVD. So 6 months-on/off it will be.
I have no choice about the BBC. I’d gladly pay a bit for the (mostly archive!) radio I listen to, but I no longer value it as I once did. The Tories and the right wing press have done for it, and while I’m sad that happened, it happened. I obviously blame the voting public, who, like the proverbial turkeys, have allowed this government of corrupt incompetents to destroy our most valued cultural institution. BBC News is unwatchable, the Today programme is unlistenable, they allowed Simon Mayo and Eddie Mair to walk away, and the only current output I value consists of In Our Time and Fortunately with Garvey and Glover. You can point to odd gems like Killing Eve and Ghosts, and even bought-in stuff like What We Do in the Shadows, but in reality they’re doing no better than Netflix and Amazon when it comes to quality control.
I was about to joke that I’d happily pay £2.50 a month for an iPlayer Radio licence, but having done the actual maths, it turns out that the BBC does spend about 20% of its budget on all its radio services, including local radio etc., so £2.50 as a proportion of that £12.50 is exactly right.
Anyway, my plan is to cut down the eels to a mere £356 per year, and we’ll see how much Apple wants to charge for its forthcoming TV streaming service. As they’re currently gouging people for £14.99 just for music, I don’t hold out much hope in terms of value for money.
I was looking forward to iOS 10 for one main reason: I was hoping that the infuriating, vexatious, troublesome Apple Music app would be fixed, somehow. I was even prepared to put up with its new, even-more-fucking-ugly appearance if it would stop annoying me.
(I don’t like the San Francisco font that has taken over the interface of iOS. It’s just as bad as Helvetica, and I hate Helvetica.)
I’ve been complaining for a long time about the way Music shows tracks on my phone that are not on my phone, even though I have checked (and checked and checked again) the option to only show music that is on my phone. But no matter my preference: Music continued to show all music that I had ever purchased on iTunes. Quitting and restarting the app would sometimes fix the problem, but then it would just occur all over again. Telling it not to use mobile data (no need, because I only want to hear music I have already downloaded onto my phone) would also create issues, throwing up an error message telling me to connect to wifi. Why? So it could show/play music that was not on my phone, notwithstanding my preference for it not to do that.
And on and on and round and round we went. Even, sometimes, when it was only showing what was on my phone, the other phantom tracks would still be there, so that tapping on a song in the middle of the Gs would start playing a song from the middle of the Bs. Because, you know, invisible tracks.
So I had all the fingers crossed that the new Apple Music would behave itself.
I especially synched a refreshed playlist on the first day. And then the first thing I notice when I look at the playlist on my phone is a little cloud symbol. Why? Because some of the songs in the playlist are apparently not on my phone. How come? I checked the playlist: nope. These songs are not supposed to be on my phone because they’re not in the playlist.
One problem, I thought was the presence of the phantom “purchased” playlist that Music creates for itself, even though I don’t want it to. I deleted that. This seems to partially cure the phantom tracks problem – at least until you synch your phone again.
So I synched again, deleted the “Purchased” playlist. Same thing. So I deleted that whole playlist, deleted all my music off the phone, and resynched a clean, new playlist with a wired connection. Same thing. So I went through my iTunes, checking every single album for stray “whole album” ratings that were being misapplied to individual tracks. Resynched, this time limited to 800 tracks by least-often-played. Eventually, I have it: no cloud symbols, no tracks that shouldn’t be there, mainly because they’d all been played too many times before. It has taken several days.
Except: I’m out in my car and the podcasts run out and music starts to play automatically. First song to appear on the screen in the car: “All Over The World” by ELO. But it doesn’t actually play, so the phone bounces to another song, and so on.
Well, there are several things with that. First of all, “All Over the World” is not on the synched playlist. It is in my “purchased” items, but not on the phone. It’s in the cloud. Which, specifically, I have repeatedly told my phone to ignore. So we’re back with phantom purchased tracks, except, “All Over the World” is not the first on that phantom list. It is the 28th song, alphabetically, in the unwanted “purchased” playlist. So why was the phone trying to play it? It makes no fucking sense, except in a universe in which Apple are deliberately trying to wind me up.
And so the dance continues. I’m playing music in the house, thinking I’m playing from my 800-track synched playlist. But then a song comes on that I don’t really like and haven’t had in any playlist for a number of years. Yep: another phantom track playing randomly from the cloud, even though it’s not on my fucking phone.
I can’t even. So Apple music continues to be a pile of steaming ordure and yet is so deeply embedded in the system that I can’t kill it. Weeping uncontrollably, shaking with frustration, I say this: I just want to play music I have carefully collected over decades and filtered down to this one playlist that I want on my phone. I just want my phone to behave like a fucking traditional iPod. I don’t want your streaming service, I don’t want your radio, I don’t want your curated playlists, I don’t want the load of old toss that is your @connect feature.
This is so frustrating that I’ve reached the stage of barely listening to music because literally every time I try I’m confronted with this bizarre, unwelcome and unwanted behaviour. It’s like trying to get to sleep and being repeatedly woken by the cat. I want to have a good old listening session, especially to stuff I bought recently, and then some filler track from an album I bought ten years ago comes on and I just want to smash things up.
Over the past month I’ve spent more time dealing with all these problems than I have playing music.
Which is before we even get to the actual playback of the actual music I want to hear. I know all the theories about a properly random shuffle, but the truth is I prefer the “randomness” offered by an alphabetical playback of all my songs. Except, because of all these issues, Music makes this one of the hardest things you can do. Apart from playing songs that aren’t supposed to be there, it always goes to the beginning of the alphabet, forgetting where it had reached.
So, okay. If I concede that that’s impossible and just select, “Shuffle All”, what then? What happens then, as far as I can tell, is that it starts playing the same few songs over and over again – never quite reaching far enough into the playlist to play anything it hasn’t played in the last week or so. For example, I swear to you that I have heard Keef singing “Before They Make Me Run” at least five times in the past month or so, whereas about 700 other tracks haven’t popped up at all.
I saw this app featured on the iOS App Store, and because I’m always on the look out for a viable alternative to the horrible Apple Music app, I downloaded it for a trial (it was free)
The premise of Mimi Music is that you also download the Mimi Hearing Test app, and then link your results to the app, which will tweak the EQ (I guess) of your music so that it sounds clearer to your ears without increasing the volume.
It seemed like a good idea, though some might see it as a bit of a gimmick. I’ve known for a long time that I’ve lost the highest frequencies from my hearing, so I was curious to both try the hearing test and then listen to the result. What the ‘gimmick’ crowd probably don’t get is that being able to listen at a medium volume rather than turning it up loud is better for long-term listening, likely to lead to less fatigue.
You need to be in a fairly quiet environment for testing your ears. Your headphones will only be on 50% and some of the sounds are very quiet, so if you’re sitting next to a washing machine on a cycle or a television set, the test won’t work.
I ran through both the mini test (which takes a couple of minutes) and then the longer one (which takes around ten), and then gave the phone permission to link the results to the Mimi Music app. The test consists of a series of tones played at various amplitudes and you respond by touching your phone’s screen when you (think) you can hear the tone. The highest frequency tested is only 8kHz, so you’re probably not going to hear anything beyond your range unless you have severe hearing loss. In terms of music, 8kHz is an extremely high pitched whine – the highest note on a piano/piccolo is around 4kHz. The lowest tone I remember hearing was around 200Hz, but I might be wrong about that. So when you’re talking about frequencies over 4kHz, it’s the harmonic overtones you might be missing, and I guess it’s the volume of these that Mimi Music might tweak to make music sound ‘brighter’ and ‘clearer’ (the usual caveats about visual metaphors applied to sound notwithstanding).
Anyway, the results surprised me. The test gave me ‘hearing age’ of 39, about 15 better than my actual age, with my right ear at around 98% (of perfect I assume) and my left at 91%. So I’m not as badly off as I thought. Where I do have issues is in the ‘conversational range’ which is somewhere between 1-3kHz, and there’s a distinct scoop in my graph at that point, explaining why I have problems hearing people speak against background noise (a common problem).
So then you listen back to your music through the app, adjust the slider to different levels of the ‘Mimi” effect, and see what you think.
It might be a gimmick, but through headphones my music definitely sounded clearer and brighter at the same volume. The headphones I used were an AKG on-ear model, but the app does warn you that the test is optimised either for the Apple earbuds or a pair of Sennheiser ‘phones. In my view, my AKGs were probably a match for the Sennheisers in terms of frequency response.
But I do have a number of quibbles with the Mimi Music app.
I don’t listen to all my music through headphones – in fact, I rarely do. Through speakers (a Bluetooth one in the house, or the ones in the car), the music does sound brighter, but you can also hear the tiny distortions caused by the algorithm. It’s not a deal-breaker, but this does seem to be an app that assumes you’re wearing headphones.
My second quibble is that, over time, your ears get used to the effect (of course) so it quickly becomes the new normal. You’re not really noticing it, but other people in the house or car (listening over the same speakers), might well be irritated by it, especially if they have much younger ears.
Thirdly, and more importantly, I found that playing music back from existing playlists was problematic. The app refused to play anything until it was added to the Mimi playlist, which is odd behaviour. It also showed a ‘locked’ icon next to any tracks bought before 2009 and couldn’t play them because of the DRM. Thanks, Apple. I also found that selecting songs was just as much of a pain in Mimi as it is in Apple music – its behaviours seem just as pointlessly malicious, not to mention that the playback controls were too fucking small and hidden down at the bottom of my huge iPhone screen. There’s also a distinct lag when you start the app and press Play – so much of a lag that you think you have mis-touched, and then hit the (tiny) Play button again, and again, until the music suddenly starts, then stops immediately, then starts etc.
Finally, here’s the current dealbreaker. The app uses a lot of battery power, even when running in the background with the screen off. I was using it just last night to play during dinner because we had a guest in the house and weren’t watching telly. And by the end of the evening, my phone was down to 30%, and 71% of the daily usage was down to Mimi’s background processing.
Sure, it’s doing maths on the music as it plays it back, but so is the built-in EQ in Apple Music. And so is Marco Arment’s Overcast podccatcher, which does both voice enhancement and ‘smart speed’, which strips out lengthy silences.
So on those very rare occasions when I do go out for a day and carry headphones to listen to music, I’m not going to be able to walk around with music playing through Mimi because my phone’s battery (which usually ends the day on 40% or higher) won’t last the day.
To be fair to the Mimi people, they did contact me on Twitter and say they’re working on the battery issue. But there are around 20 of them, whereas there’s just one of Marco, so c’mon! Priorities, people.
Anyway, your mileage, as they say, may differ, but if you do suffer from some kind of hearing difficulty, give it a go.
The ‘functional high ground’ argument is in the air again, with various tech journalists and podcasters weighing in with their opinions on various parts of Apple software. There are still occasional glimpses of former glory: Music Memos was quietly released and is the kind of songwriting tool I’d have loved to have, back when I was writing a lot of songs. It does exactly what you’d want it to do: it’ll tune your guitar, has a big record button, it knows what chords you’re playing, and it even adds a decent robot backing track. Only Apple, as we used to say so often, can do this.
But of course, iTunes continues to be horrible, and I’m not alone in thinking that Photos is a poor substitute for Aperture and doesn’t need to keep its editing tools so deeply buried – multiple clicks to achieve a simple edit is not good design.
My greatest frustration continues to be Apple Music, which is awful on so many levels that I haven’t even seen any of the pros complaining about the problems I’m encountering. Theirs are all to do with synching and matching and so on, whereas mine are mainly to do with basic functionality and interface.
But I’ll start of with that synching feeling. A permanent feature on my phone’s screen in Music is the phrase, ‘Showing only music on this iPhone. Show All Music.’
That last bit, highlighted in red, is supposed to be a button, but of course we’re not allowed to have ‘buttons’ anymore because they’re skeumorphic. So we just have to guess that ‘Show All Music’ is a button. But take a look at this screenshot.
Yes, the greyed out tracks are not on my iPhone. Not. On. My. iPhone. So I shouldn’t be seeing them, should I? And yet they are there.
Getting into my car the other night, I plugged my phone into the Media connector in the car, and of course it started playing music, starting with the first song beginning with A (currently ‘After Hours’ by the Velvet Underground). Which is not what I wanted it to do. One of my daily frustrations is that my phone, unlike iPods of old, rarely seems to remember where it had reached in the playback (I play through all my songs alphabetically, which is my favourite form of ‘shuffle’). So it defaults to the first of the ‘A’s and I get angry and frustrated – and begin to kind of hate and resent that hapless first song (of 1000) in the list.
So I’m sitting in the car and ‘After Hours’ starts up, and I pick up the phone to find where I think the playback had reached, somewhere in the ‘D’s, and I tap the screen to play that song. Somewhere in the ‘D’s. I tap. And it starts to play ‘Baggage Claim’ by Miranda Lambert. What?
After a bit of experimentation, I realise that tapping somewhere in the ‘F’s will start playing somewhere in the ‘C’s, and so on. So as well as showing music that is not on the phone, Music is now also reading a tap in the ‘D’s as a tap in the ‘B’s. Brilliant. I suspect that means that the phone is seeing the tap where it really would be if it wasn’t displaying a bunch of songs that are not on the phone. If I could somehow make them invisible, I’d see that I was, in fact, tapping in the ‘B’s.
That was happening under the My Music tab (which is not a button, nor is it a tab, so what are we supposed to call it, Jony Ive? A section?). When I tapped into Playlists, my one and only playlist was there, and I was able to navigate through it and play back normally. But I shouldn’t have to do that, because there’s only one fucking playlist on the phone, and so the My Music section should have just the songs from that.
And I wouldn’t have to be doing all this if the app remembered where it was in the playback list.
Take a look at this second screen shot:
Yes, that’s in the Playlist section, and you can see we’re playing back ‘Give Him a Great Big Kiss’ by the Shangri-Las. Now, what if I wanted to skip to the next track from this screen? I could tap the next on the list, but if I wanted to skip several, I’d have to scroll first, stop the scrolling, then tap the one I wanted. So to see an actual Skip option, I have to tap the tiny white band near the bottom and go into the Playback screen. What if I wanted to pause playback? There is a chance of doing that, because there is a tiny play/pause not-a-button. But what are the chances of hitting this first time if I am walking, or driving my car, or riding my bicycle? 50/50 at best, I’d say. Note that the image above, because of the resolution of my phone’s screen, exaggerates the size of the tap target. Now, given how huge my phone’s screen is, why does the play/pause button have to be so small? Why is there no skip forward or skip back?
Why is this software such a piece of shit at doing what it’s supposed to do?
I suspect the answer to that is that I’m not supposed to want to do any of this. I’m supposed to subscribe to the streaming service, and put my music listening into the hands of curators or algorithms, and just passively accept whatever Music decides to play. I suppose there might be some people who are happy with that. Me? Not so much.
Which brings me to my final complaint. Apart from not giving enough space to playback controls, the Music app also imposes the Radio not-a-button and the Connect not-a-button at the bottom of the screen, where they are liable to (only ever) be clicked accidentally, much like the Moments button on twitter.com. Why can’t I go into a Preferences pane and turn those items off? Why can’t I select an option for a larger playback button? Why doesn’t telling the app only to show music on the iPhone do what it’s supposed to do?
Because Apple Music is shite. And here’s the thing: I’ve tried a couple of other playback apps, hoping to leave all the Music nastiness behind, but they don’t work. They too forget where they were playing back – because they can never take over the System playback from Music. And they too (presumably following the Human Interface Guidelines) have tiny playback buttons.
And don’t get me started on the Music app on the new Apple TV…
Well, after spending a few minutes with the new Apple Music I am prepared to issue my definitive, irrevocable opinion of it*.
*Not really, but I was actually surprised at how quickly I grew irritated by it. I mean, I’ve already said I didn’t think it would be for me, but my attitude had mellowed somewhat since, as I thought about how much my daughters might like access to unlimited music on the family plan, and how that might end up being cheaper for me than my current music buying habit.
But then, a mere five minutes in, I went off the whole idea. Ten minutes later, I disabled the Autorenew on the subscription option. So why?
The getting to know you screen, with its friendly bouncing circles of artists. That’s just another algorithm, of course. But, well, it’s sexist for a start. Tell it you like Country, and it offers you around 10 male artists for one or two female artists. I was able to double tap on favourites like Brad Paisley, Alan Jackson, Tim McGraw, and the Dixie Chicks showed up (last album released in 2006). But no Martina McBride, Sara Evans, Ashley Monroe, Gretchen Wilson, Brandy Clark, Little Big Town etc. So we’re broad-brushing at this stage, but I hate broad brushes when it comes to musical tastes. X does not follow Y. To offer me Cliff Fucking Richard and not Tom Petty was just gross and disgusting. (Maybe these are signs that Mr Petty is not playing, who knows?)
Once in, it offers you ‘curated’ playlists which are, frankly, rubbish. For some Apple ‘curator’ (or algorithm) to offer me a Bruce Springsteen ‘Deep Cuts’ playlist was just an insult. Don’t you know who I am? Yeah, I need some maths equation or corporate drone to tell me all about Springsteen. As to the artists it suggests, please. Toby Keith? Like, if you tapped Dixie Chicks and they offer you Toby Keith? That’s just trolling.
The Country home page is as shite as the usual iTunes store home page. Yes, Kacey Musgraves is front and centre, but where the fuck is Ashley Monroe? Where, Apple? What the hell is wrong with you people?
Radio? Radi-no. See notes above under curators.
Oh, and £9.99/£14.99 – rip-off Britain. A fair price, even allowing for currency fluctuations by adding 10% to the € price, would be more like £7.69 and £11.69. Call it £7.99 and £11.99 to be generous to Apple, and we’re looking at being ripped off to the tune of £3 per month on the family plan, £36 per year. Paying, in other words, for more than two phantom months that other European countries don’t have. That would be Greedy, coming between June and July, and Bastards, coming between August and September.
So I still don’t know how my kids will take to it, but my visceral reaction has honestly surprised me. Turns out, I’ve still got really strong opinions about music and music discovery, even at my age.